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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ABUSE: Shouldn’t women share a mini-portion of the blame?


By Nimi Princewill*
Shouldn't women take a share of the blame for domestic violence
It's both our prayers, that men who are domestic abusers, "burn in hell and rot away in agony!"
Oh yeah, I totally do agree with the vengeful prayer request, but hit the brakes for a moment… I think there's probably another way to look at it. With the flourishing rate of domestic violence in almost all metropolitan and rural societies, I got deeply and quite adventurously curious to look up it's major causes. Well, as anticipated, I was certainly left puzzled!
Among the numerous causes of domestic violence I was fortunate to have ransacked out of curiosity, which by the way, includes:
Psychological disorder (occasioned by the background of the abuser), domineering/possessive habits, severe jealousy, inferiority complex (that's in the case the man is less successful than his partner) and a couple others; extreme provocation and downgrading of a man's ego/personality, amazingly didn't make the cut!
Now I ask:
• Who cares to ask a man what prompted the attack on his partner? No one cares… He hit the 'poor woman', so he deserves a lethal injection!
• Who cares to know if a man takes a blow to his ego everyday, constantly suffering verbal abuse,  extreme humiliation and public disrespect from his partner?
• Who cares to know if a man's age-long career dream has been shattered by his partner, who uses falsehood and blackmail as a tool in scoring cheap points after a petty quarrel?
• Who bothers to inquire if the woman is also a domestic abuser of her own, who hits, spits, bites, throws things, or destroys property?
Can't the men in some way, be perceived as victims as well? While we wholeheartedly and uniformly condemn domestic abusers, who resort to violent expressions of anger and other forms of emotional/psychological abuse against women, shouldn't we try to inquire and likewise apportion little trickles of blame, to some of the women who treat their partners in astonishingly horrible ways, thereby ironically contributing to domestic violence/abuse?
I strongly believe, women shouldn't be immune from criticism.
It is extremely condemnable and cowardly of a man to attack a woman. In the same vein, I also believe it is wayward and irresponsible of a woman to leverage on that fact, to continuously inflict emotional trauma on a man, with the assurance that "no behaviour on the part of a woman, can justify a violent response from a man." Men are human too…
Even Jesus, drove rogue traders away from the temple with a whip. If we do the math right, some of them were possibly women!

(*)Nimi Princewill is a Nigerian Creative writer / Poet / 'Social Reformer'. He's very passionate about the reformation and development of Africa. Born in Nigeria on the 5th of July 1991, he's most notable for his usual 'controversial' opinion on issues that cut across Religion, Sports, Social Lifestyle and Politics
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